I tried everything I could to back out of that corner on my own, but couldn't muster the courage to ask for help in the main chat room. I'd turned into what appeared to be a virtual dressing room and - just like that - my first night in the land of pixelized excess had come to an end. I spent some time wandering around the rooftop lounge looking for orgy portals, and then I hit a wall. The only fleshy writhing came from a naked couple, swaying back and forth like a pair of middle-aged swingers desperately bumping uglies on the dance floor at an off-season Hedonism.īut who was I to judge? I couldn't even figure out how to start a private chat. Instead, I saw four white folks, dancing like white people do, on a Billie Jean-style light-up dance floor. Buddy was ready to bone.Īfter the previous night's failure, I entered the game's "Welcome Tower," a sort of outdoor nightclub, expecting to see piles of naked bodies writhing on top of each other, creating a sea of flesh and flailing appendages. I dressed him in a pair of butt-hugging blue jeans, a low-cut button down and some spotless white sneakers, gave him a long, luscious mane and slimmed his overbuilt body to match mine. In minutes I was staring at a crude, 3D rendering of BuddyHudson, a name I gleaned from the copy of Jackie Collins' Hollywood Wives sitting on the coffee table in front of me. The following night I hardwired my laptop, stripped down, whipped out the lube and turned my sex sleeve on. I'd been trying to run the program over WiFi. And then I found it: the key to my orgy misfortune. I spent much of the next day at work searching for hardware requirements, tutorials, FAQs - anything that could explain my experience. Maybe there was a steeper learning curve than I'd expected. I'm not a gamer, much less an MMORPG player. That night I fell asleep frustrated, but hopeful, chalking it up to human error. In the roughly four hours I wasted trying to get the game up and running, I could have signed on to Grindr, Tinder, Scruff or even walked 10 minutes to my local gay bar, picked up a flesh-and-blood human, done the deed, washed my ass and been in bed. As I would come to find out, though, getting laid, even in a virtual fantasyland, isn't as easy as just showing up.Īfter another couple hours of boner-killing login attempts and software crashes, I retired for the night. After about two hours of prep, I assumed I was ready for any and all of the digital dicks. I charged my Kiiroo Onyx masturbator, read up on the virtual world I was about to enter, signed up for a VIP account and watched a tutorial on how to sync my toy to the game. In my previous experiences with teledildonics and virtual sex, I'd learned a certain level of patience is required. It may have been my first MMORPG orgy, but it wasn't my first rodeo. There would be no feline fuck-athon for me. In order to connect my teledildonic sex sleeve to the in-game experience, however, I'd have to use the new, limited RLC 2.0 beta. The site encourages users to "live your fantasies," and that's exactly what I would do if the software allowed. I could and would have sex with all the people, maybe even that cat-woman hybrid thing I'd seen in the advertisement. Red Light Center boasts virtual worlds for furries, gays, public sex, BDSM, even high-class call girls. It's been decades since I've played video games with any regularity, but a video game you can stick your dick in? I was sold. I'd come across Red Light Center during my " first-hand quest for the future of sex." The adult massively multiple online role-playing game is an interactive world akin to the SIMs that allows players to interact with each other using teledildonics. So when I heard about the Red Light Center, "the world's only FREE Massively Multiplayer, Adult Virtual World," I was cautiously optimistic. I'd been party to a couple of rounds of D&D in high school because the dungeon master smoked us out and bought us beer, but 15-plus years later I couldn't even begin to tell you what to do with a 12-sided die. My encounters with role-playing games were similarly limited. I'd had a handful of clumsy threesomes in college, but nothing compared to the wall-to-wall sex fest I had in mind. NSFW Warning: This story may contain links to and descriptions or images of explicit sexual acts.
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